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Make God Laugh

 This has been my favorite way to document our lives together so far and it might become a more regular thing! I love being able to record little stories here and there about what happens for us so that it can be a record for our future children and their spouses and kids to look back on. I read Seth's moms blog while we were engaged and it was absolutely delightful--I learned so much about each of the family members and I got lots of cute family photos!

   Something I thought long and hard about recently is how I will manage getting my Master's degree next year while we plan for a baby and for Seth to finish his degree? He has 2 more years of school left while I graduated this past August and planned to work to support him through school. However, it would be more difficult next year when I began my Masters program (assuming I get accepted). I also have some health problems including chronic pain and fatigue that get so intense I cannot do laundry on my own. So there has been a lot to consider.

    With prayer, talking with my husband, and discussing it with my therapist, we all made the decision for me to take a break from working for at least a month and to put grad-school plans on the back burner until we figured things out. That month has passed and I have changed my mind on a lot of things!

    I'm a housewife now and I love it. I love being able to support my husband at home--keeping our space clean and making food for us and our loved ones. I love that my stress is reduced so that I can support him in the struggles and stresses he faces while in school and working. Occasionally, I also contribute to our finances by selling items I make, doing photoshoots, and I'm working on getting a remote coaching business started. But it has been incredible to see how much I've changed in my hopes, desires, and even my health by being a housewife.

    I've learned that the best way to make God laugh is to make a plan. 

    When I was 18, I wanted to study English at USU to become a book editor, and if I needed to, I could do nursing on the side. However, God said no, I don't belong there. It felt like I was slapped in the face with the word "Therapist" one day in high school as I talked my friend through the difficulties of relationships. It was quite a shock to me, but not to anyone else, that psychology is where my passion really was. A few months later, I felt impressed to attend BYU--and I really didn't want to. But because I trust God, I chose to go to BYU and I loved it. It ended up being the perfect place for me and I made so many lifelong friends there.

    I wanted to serve a full-time proselyting mission for my church, I planned on doing so all of my life. But I felt like God was leading me in a different direction. This was one of the hardest plans to let go of. I had wanted to serve a mission since I was 12 and now that I was old enough to go, I felt like I needed to stay home. On top of that feeling, I had some health issues that would have caused me a lot of problems serving a mission. So eventually, I accepted that I wouldn't be serving a mission, and my health issues went away. I ended up getting into a relationship soon after that was really important to my growth as a person and the development of my faith. Once again, God's plan was better.

    I thought I would marry that person I was with, until we both received the prompting that it wasn't meant to be. That was definitely one of the worst times of my life thus far and it was the hardest part of following God's plan for me ever. I was angry with Him for a long time, but I knew that He was the only way I would get through it. A year later, I met the love of my life and my now husband, Seth. God knew I needed that previous relationship to learn and grow so I could be the best partner for Seth and I'm so grateful for His guidance.

    And now, I find myself amidst another time of God shifting my plans, but it's easier now. I trust Him. Everything He has done has been for my good and I'm at peace with how things are and will be. I always planned to be a career woman--to get a Master's degree, become a therapist, live in the city, have 3 or 4 kids after I was 25, and that was it.

    But now, here I am. 21 with a husband, trying to have our first out of 5 or so children, not working, and planning on being a fulltime homemaker. I don't know where we'll end up, but I would love to have a garden, some chickens, a cat, a dog, and enough space for our kids to play outside every day. I still love having deep conversations and helping people as much as I can, but I don't think I need to become a licensed therapist right now. I'm content with being a wife, a mom, a sister, a friend, and whatever people need around me, and recommending them to therapists nearby. And the Lord has supported me every day as I evolve into the person I have always been, but never realized before. 

    He's definitely had a fun time correcting my silly little self as I walk in all the wrong directions and I'm so grateful for it! I'm excited to see where He takes me.    

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